Good news, everybody! My head, scanned at Makerbot Industries by artist Jon Monaghan with a high-resolution laser scanner, is now a Thing, available for everyone to own, covet, and place into terrible places.

That’s right: I’m now 3D-printable.

This 3MB file is all you need to download and print my head on your own rapid prototyping machine. Why not add rabbit ears or a longer nose? Why not give me pustules or place me on the hood of your old Ford Fairmont. Why not use me in a puppet play that is a weird and obtuse commentary on the banality of human existence. Why not use me as a sex toy? I’m game.

I’m not sure how I feel right now about this, but it’s a fascinating exercise. To think that my profile can eventually be printed in life size and/or an android mask can be made in my visage is humbling and a little scary. Why me? Why now? Why am I so puffy?

I can’t answer these questions, friends. But the future is here.